Vernal equinox

Happy Friday, my fellow readers!

According to the weather man, we are already a day into Spring! This is debatable, seeing as though I left the house this morning in a coat (about 39 degrees!) and didn't need it anymore by the time the clock struck noon! Unfortunately I hear we are in for chilly mornings and cool afternoons with some rain this upcoming week... is it summer yet?

I don't think I've been this happy about Spring in a while, but with living downtown these days, all I notice with the change in season is the temperature, weather patterns, and maybe a few flowers blooming here and there, depending on where I wander. Being away from home has helped me grow in my appreciation for my hometown and its beauty, especially as seasons change.

Avondale Lake - April 2013

I have been home all week for spring break, but until the middle of the week, I hadn't gotten out much. All I have done is attend church, spend time with the youth group, bum around the house in my pajamas (not that I mind that at all... just very unproductive), and finally, I had the opportunity to have a little fun today by getting my nails done and having lunch with a friend. While both were highlights to my day, I found a deep peace driving around town this afternoon.

Ladybug on a gardenia - February 2013

I got in the car to run some errands before dinner, and as I backed out of the driveway, I rolled down the windows. I turned up the radio and played my Frank Sinatra CD. As I rolled down my hilly street, I rocked my sunglasses as I sang totally off-key to Sinatra's "The Good Life," and after a rough week, it felt good to cut loose to some happy and soothing music. As I cruised through town, the cool, spring air seeped through the partially open windows and blew my hair. Passing the lake, I observed the ducks swimming in line. Children who'd biked to the lake were swinging on a suspended bench, taking in the scenery. An older gentleman fished at one corner of the lake. Couples walked their dogs on the trail. And there I saw it-- my favorite tree at the lake. It served as a canopy over a bench area, and its gentle pink flower petals fluttered with the breeze, some falling off and landing on the grass. The sun reflected off the water, brightly. It was at that moment when I genuinely appreciated the beauty of spring, especially the spring which occurred in my hometown. I hang on to countless memories of the lake, and I am able to recall many days spent feeding the ducks, getting chased by geese, biking around the trial, and that one time where a swan bit me when I was seven years old. 

Yes, that's right. I was bit by a swan.

About twelve years ago, it was spring break for my brother and me, so my grandfather took us down to the lake so we could ride bikes and feed the ducks as he sat under the gazebo working crossword puzzles. Those were some of my fondest memories, getting close enough to the ducks and geese to pass them bread directly to their bills. My grandfather spotted the baby of one of the few black swans we had back then, and wanted to capture a photo of me standing next to the baby. I was hesitant, because I knew many animals were very protective of their young. As I nervously approached the baby swan, my grandfather began to take a picture. Back then, small digital cameras took a moment to capture the photo. Unfortunately for me, after the photo was taken, the mother swan came up to me, its bill ajar, and bit me on my left side. Can you say ouch? I was bruised for a good week or so, and needless to say I was pretty displeased with my grandfather at the time. He, on the other hand, found it hilarious. I'll never forget the day I got bit by a swan. 

I cannot locate the picture of me and
the swan, so here's a picture of me and
my grandfather, 1997.

One of the challenges this week was being strong through the heartache of knowing that three years ago on Wednesday (March 19th), my grandfather lost his long battle with cancer. It's memories like the one shared with you above that keep me going. I'd be lying if I said things get easier as time goes on. For some, that may be the case, but for me and much of my family, the grief has only worsened. On Wednesday morning, I read a beautiful quote by C.S. Lewis, which offered a bit of nostalgia as well as a glimmer of hope. It reads, "Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing the monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward." While a loss such as this is something I'll never forget, moving forward is something I can do, in time. And I have, slowly. Loss is never easy. We can anticipate the feelings we'd have over losing someone before they actually pass, but we don't ever know truly how we feel once a person is gone. We may fill ourselves with regrets or guilt, and fail to remember the most treasurable moments we shared with our deceased loved ones. We have got to let go of those regrets and guilty feelings in order to move forward. We must remember that our loved ones wouldn't want us to spend many and many a year moping about their not being present, but instead carry on with our lives while holding fast to the impact they had on us and what they taught us while they were still here on Earth. We must know that in time-- though it may not seem like it now-- things will be alright. 

Avondale Lake - March 2013

Considering this pleasant weather, a bike ride is in my future-- tomorrow morning. Oh, how I have missed that. Enjoy this beautiful weather as we continue to transition out of winter. 

Until next time,

Kelsey

The song of the week is Moonlight Serenade by Frank Sinatra. Just a tribute to my grandfather... one of his favorite songs, and my all-time favorite song. 

My favorite tree at the lake.